just brushed my teeth with a bottle of jack. ew. not all it's hyped up to be.
Stalkers don't have time for showers...it's a full time job
My eyes got the double whammy. Once with pepperspray from the riot the other with cum. Both of which i did nothing to deserve.
I just won 10 dollars from out chugging the bar tender and I found out that the baby aint mine in the last hour. I don't even care if l get laid tonight any more.
Well on a lighter note, guess who just threw up in the elevator
Thanks again for allowing my sister to lose her virginity on your bed.
i had choclate birthday cake for breakfast and am currently flossing my teeth w a condom wrapper. at work. hot mess for 200 alex
So aparently telling your roommate you're going to spoon them so hard in the public place of their employment is inappropriate
Hey, i turned the toilet into a water fountain. Drink up.
There is a hatefuck that has the destruction level of an atom bomb raging through my viens just aching to vaporize her.
I feel like I'm eight miles away and my brain is just now getting here. You got a lot of fucking catching up to do.
I'm just gonna put on a documentary and throw up
You'll love it there. Trust me. Cheap tequila, pretentious beer, tall white guys who will treat you badly. Its got everything you like.
you ripped my door off of the hinges, kicked it in half and then proceeded to throw it down the stairs because i wouldn't make you a cheese burger
am i the only one who finds it a little awkward seeing as we all made out last night?
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