he thinks he's going to hurt your feelings
He can't hurt my feelings
I don't have feelings.
i just took a sip of diet coke and i said " as soon as it hits my lips i wanna smoke a cig." then i thought of your dick.
I'm this close to masturbating to his profile pics from 2006
I just did a sobriety test in a tutu.
I woke up naked dangling by my feet from the balcony over his foyer. He's officially my new favorite booty call.
I just saw a fat chick ask the bartender to top her corona off with grenandine cuz she has a "sweet tooth" no that's diabetes fatty
ur not supposed to find someone to make out with when ur bf takes u to his SISTERS house to hang out with her and her husband
He is currently pregaming mini golf. MINI GOLF.
They ran out of toilet paper, so I had a girl rip down the streamers so I could wipe.
I'm kinda surprised he wouldn't be honored to take me back as a fuck buddy.
Jill you already won the game by finding a dude who will fuck you in flamingo knee socks. Theres no hope for the rest of us
He understood my need for pizza was more important than my need for sex. He's the one.
I feel like it should at least be like a "hey look I'm actually fine that I drunkenly gave you my virginity!" friend request.
I was at his place until 2am. We just sat really close an stared at each other. I think you are right. Germans must not have feelings. Not even tingly ones in their pants.
He was out clubbing with his SON. WHY did you let me KISS HIM? Also WHERE WAS HIS SON?!
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