that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
The guy I was getting with last night took off his purity ring mid-sex and threw it across the room.
since i spend so many of my nights sleeping on the bathroom floor i think im going to remove all toiletries from under my sink and replace them with a pillow and blanket.
Yeah i knew he wasn't okay when he told me he was "seeing his vision"
He kept coming back from the bar with hotter girls and just left with two...I feel like I just witnessed something amaZing. Like meeting Jesus and finding out he has no morals either
I woke up with glitter in my wounds.
sounds like it. if it makes you feel better i blew up a $75000 farm tractor last night.
WHY IS HE GONE WHEN I ACTUALLY HAVE THE AMOUT OF ESTROGEN TO HUMP A SQUIRREL?!?!
Embrace your curves. Cuz we're too poor for a coke habit.
I think cutting a patient out of a owl costume is a first for those guys. It's a good story at least.
DID YOU REALLY JUST GIVE ME A FIRST BASE SIGN
You were throwing cups at people in the basement, yelling at them to get out of your swamp.
I hate when my Bumble matches make it hard for me to stalk them.
You've had it in your mouth, how have you not seen it?
I ate at the cafeteria for the first time yesterday and today I think I had an hour long fart.
Randomize
