i'd rather walk the sahara in a snuggie with no water than take a bicycle cab
you lied vaginas dont taste like gold fish!
noo i said youre golden if her vagina tastes like fish!
i used the pictures of vaginas in your biology book to jack off.
I finally won that bet on when the anorexic girl would pass out at the gym. You owe me 10 now
it's sad when i round the corner and the dog goes directly for the liquor store
if the best thing you can say about him is "he probably wont kill me" you may want to rethink hanging out with him
Ok but if you die you have to get "I should've listened to Mike" carved into your tombstone
Lazier than spoon feeding yourself popcorn and debating adult diapers so you don't have to leave the mentalist marathon on tv?
Your cousin just asked the bartender to start a round of vagina shots. Not body shots. Vagina shots. We're taking her out more often.
I feel that shower jager is exactly what this man needs after last night.
You're a disgrace to gay men everywhere.
I'm about to fuck a girl in an old school Tony Kukoc Bulls jersey. About to earn my third championship ring in sex
We don't have paper towels so I microwaved a spinach/egg sandwich thingy wrapped in toilet paper. Toilet paper. so that's how my day started.
You know you're getting old when 19 year olds you've met on tinder advise you that you should start looking for a wife and/or the mother of your children
I told him you're making deviled eggs for the party. Sisters make deviled eggs to get their sisters laid. It's science.
I fuckin love you!
I would reciprocate the feeling if i knew who this was.
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