this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
no. you can't hotbox the world.
I drove you home. there is no excuse for wrecking your car 3 hours later.
no i did not stop my best friend from eating out my sister...bros before hoes
grilled cheese. we just shotgunned grilled cheese.
i would think by now you'd realize that my penis does whatever the fuck it wants and i have no control over the situation
Nothing like throwing up 1/2 price appatizers and 2 4 1 personal pitcher in uniform to remind myself what a succesful failure I am
He's got a southern drawl and a lisp. I'm getting mindfucked right now.
After she cried and passed out at four in the morning, I had a very lovely, very drunken conversation with her mother while decorating a cake into the shape of a penis.
Things I learned last night: 1. Bacardi 151 is a one-way ticket to the toilet, 2. It is possible for a human being to turn into Mount Vesuvius
Walt said he was feeding me so I wouldn't die. that's why there was pasta in my room
I have a surprise for you guys
What is it?
A MOTHER FUCKING SURPRISE DON'T ASK QUESTIONS
I think I'm going to give him a welcome back to single life blow job
The nice lady at the neighborhood liquor store informs me that we have a new woman-run neighborhood sex shop. Jesus loves me and wants me to have a happy Valentine's day.
i just got carded for condoms. wtf.....this is new. isnt safe sex a good thing?
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