I was about to buy asher roth's album and then i realized he was a ginger. can't support
"Morning after" poops are always like, interesting.
I brought my laptop into the bathroom so I can facebook while vomiting. New low?
girl in the front row yawned. double jointed jaw. i know where i'll be sitting next class
He said I came instead of I'm coming. I wonder if he noticed my state of confusion when I stopped blowing him.
Wasn't he an English major?
Just saw some girl biking on campus with a babyseat on the front. Baby included. Do you know how many points that'd be worth?
I know the scar will be in an obvious place, that's why I'm certain it'll score me cancer blowjobs
The cop asked you if you had been drinking and you said you drank milk out of a cow.
I rememeber. I showed him the picture on my phone of me drinking out of the utter, right?
I just tried to eat one of my ear plugs, thinking it was a cheese curl. I need it to be break RIGHT NOW.
So I just chugged the rest of the wine in my mug so I would have something to eat my corn flakes in. With a plastic fork. I need a dishwasher
And maybe a life coach?
I don't really know how to explain this place...it's like I feel like I need an std just to fit in
Regardless of the amount of alcohol you may consume tonight - DON'T take anybody home
Don't linger or you will get sucked into spending the night. Remember the mission mantra: GET OFF
dude ur drinkin a beer not ta capri sun. lose the straw
Is this because I accidentally peed on you?
You yell at me for being attracted to older guys and you're over here condoning murder
Randomize
