i want to be waterboarded, just to see what all the fuss is about
i didn't know you could wash puke off of bras with a dishwasher.
I'm starting a business if you want to get involved
oh boy
Its called Cut N Tugs, haircuts with happy endings
she's like bobby knight all she does is scream and point
I just wanted to yell " i am not a shake weight!!"
The extent of my physical activity is running from the cops.
Truth be told I was googling "why is my left calf bigger than my right calf", porn would've been a better excuse for a virus.
This morning my mouth tasted like fruit trees, battery acid, and magnums. Transferring schools was the best decision Ive ever made.
Wow, I just woke up in this conference with the woman beside me staring at me. This is what happens when hungover people sit in warm rooms...
I feel very compelled to cut off the person's ears that is sitting in front of me
My "lord keep me from stabbing a bitch" prayer has gotten a lot of miles today
Pooled our money and rented a bouncy castle for the day. Get over here now. Bring vodka.
That song just makes me wanna take off my top and shake my titties all around the club.
maybe you should have closed the porn before you gave the professor your computer to hook up to the projector?
I am drunk shake weighting right now.
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