let's just say, the carpet matched the drapes. in colour and length.
3 st and 6 ave. One dollar pitchers. Look out world.
is facebook stalking your hot therapist socially acceptable?
One date. That's all it took. I want to have his geunis babies in me. One date.
My mom is holding a picture of me, crying, and saying "where did I go wrong" over and over again.
You threw an open can of pop at me while I was lying on the floor babbling and drooling about how I need to be alone forever, me and my leaking face.
despite the cops showing up at 8am, pre gaming groundhog day was my idea yet. and by pre gaming, i of course mean getting black out drunk by 7:30am
why is there a fishing net hanging from my ceiling fan?
You were being mean. And telling everyone to suck your six inch strap on. People were not pleased
Please be lying.
Im not. Your family was creeped out
I started screaming "MY PARENTS ARE MORMON" at a stranger and promptly proceeded to run into a wall. How do you think it went?
So pro tip. do not order drugs from india and then assume you know your tolerance level.
He fucked me over, so I'm going to do what any rational woman does. I'm going to get really high and have sex with his brother.
We both know we're cheating on one another. But our side pieces aren't as kinky as us...so yeah, we're still together. This is a fucked up relationship.
I saved a sauce packet from taco bell that said "Free me" to use in my next break up.
I just remembered something. We made out last night, people cheered.
Randomize
