I just wanted to let you know that if you dont tell me to stop texting i will still keep on trying, you matter to me
restraining order is on its way, crazy bitch
also, you're talking to the girl for whom "deformed baby arm" wasn't quite a dealbreaker.
Hannah Montana > iCarly
I'm disregarding that text and your testicles entirely
I'm at Lowes and I'm constantly looking for things to vomit in, just in case
In retrospect, getting to second base BEFORE anal wouldve been a good idea
i had to wake up at 4 am to do my laundry because I was afraid if I saw people in the laundry room they would judge me by the amount of clothes I had covered in vomit from syllabus week
I have hooked up with someone in EVERYONE OF MY CLASSES.
That's how you know you deserve to be a senior
My leg won't stop wagging. It's like it's congratulating my vagina.
I just told a kid I was in a wheelchair because Santa shot me due to me being on the naughty list. You should have seen this little bastards face
Just got convinced to trip sit for a pack of cigarettes and a burrito. Let the games begin
He is currently tell his hat to go free. Like he has it sitting on the table just waiting for it to take off. When he's not looking I'm gonna throw it off the balcony and tell him it's flying
I got laughed at by a homeless guy in a Daniel Boone hat. I have no clue what this means for my day
I just saw a fat girl roll down the steps taking out three people with her, thought you should know.....
But I'm a half a mile from my bed. And I have the hiccups. I hate hiccups.
It's days like today, when my bra and underwear match, that make me feel like I'm getting my life together...
Knowing there are different types of spiders in different countries and regions makes me never want to travel.
Randomize
