i just hugged the lady at the liquor store goodbye for the summer...
He needs to realize that there's a big difference between "I love you" and "I love your dick"
well when mom kept referring to my "black hole of a vagina" and how i devoured all the nuts at the party like i was a pro, i figured my stay was up.
You thought last year was bad... a guy dressed as a clown showed up with cocaine
Crashed the mayor's bday party, no list for some reason. Wore suits. Ludacris was there.
Don't count me out just yet. Considering bartering a blowjob to see if that boy from work will take my shift.
Got some good news and bad news about the hayride this weekend.
The good news is its still on, the bad news is we don't have any hay. The best news, if you drink enough you won't give a fuck that its just a trailer.
I decided I'm going to give him a celebratory fuck for his accomplishments. Knocked on his door, handed him some condoms and said "I'll be over tonight with sex and booze"
I want to be you.
YOU STOLE THE WEDDING CAKE?!?!
Only one tier
Tastes like cardboard anyway
I think they were making kool-aid in my bed. There is lots of sugar and my hands and face are stained blue.
She sat next to me on the couch and said "word going around is you got a sweet cock". My nickname problem was solved!
Every now and then I'll meet one who is talented in the art of shower gymnast.
We have to do it Saturday and get a thirty. If i remember correctly it takes me 12 beers to become a wizard
I don't remember his name. I had whataburger on my mind and in my hands so I wasnt really listening
All I need is $1,500, a beach ready body, a bigger dick & this will be the best spring break ever.
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