This phone does not accept mass texts. Try again.
Currently having a discussion about how bad cheating is with the girl im dating and the girl im fucking. This might be a sign that i need to reassess my life
Even if you were sober, spitters are STILL quitters, end of story.
so my phone autocorrects 'retard' to 'retaaahd'. i LOVE being a masshole!
Hands down the most disgusting picture message ever received. Thank you.
im here for your entertainment
Unless you consider jello shots food the answer is no there is no dinner here. When u get food get more wine too tired of you coming over drinking all my booze and destroying my vagina
Vegas is great, yelled at a guy 4 lanes over if he wanted a bj. ended up having sex in a vacant lot. I think he was homeless.
I woke up at 4am on the floor covered in olive oil and fire extinguisher powder but all I wanted to know was where the rest of my booze was at.
I'm just gonna clean the house so my Mom won't think I'm hung over. I'll just start with the toilet
The night got interesting when the random guy next to us handed us a bottle of champagne and the rest of his ciroc bottle. When we asked why he did it, he proceeded to point at his friend who face planted the floor.
He started french braiding my hair while I was blowing him. The question is not why, but how.
I woke up to a stripper (who added me on Facebook) messaging me reminding me to cancel my card if I can't find it
I've never said "lesbians" so many times in a short response answer
Thought for a game. Duck, Duck, Grey Goose. If you're tapped, you take a shot. Then proceed as normal.
Does the girl you just banged want anything from Taco Bell?
Randomize
