I stuck it in and pulled it out
Did she like it?
She giggled?
She liked it
69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
She was so drunk that I kept trying to switch out her wine for water. Sort of like Jesus, but in reverse.
You slept with a red coat way too close to independence day. It's just very unpatriotic.
After you vomited on the patrol car, you thanked the officer for helping you up off the ground. I don't think you realized you were being arrested.
If I can't pick up a cat lady, I probably need to turn to Internet dating.
Tim john just told us the story about him losing his virginity at 14 during church on the emergency exit staircase. This is day drinking?
Update. He just picked me up and tried to demonstrate
When I get home we should play "let's see how many Christmas movies we can watch before we start having sex."
When you guys came back from the bar, I thought everyone was a T-Rex - Thats why i was hiding under the table. Never doing shrooms with Drunk people again
He went down on me while I had rollers in my hair. I've never felt more like a lady.
Mostly i might never get belligerent again because im gonna have to keep track of a diamond ring.
Well I'm about 60% wine, 30% pure rage and 10% tears at the moment and I'm disappointed in how little alcohol is in me
Me and Jason had to grab your legs and arms and drag you in the house. You kept screaming "leave me for dead"
Your pictures have evolved a lot over the years but I think your angry dick pic phase was one of my favorites
You know it's NBA season when you compare head to 3 pointers.
Randomize
