I just found a frying pan...in my bed.
Strippers tramp stamp says "mom"
you yelled "you will never make love to jesus" and then ran into the tv.
organizing the empties. That sober.
He was eating her out on the elevator. What a good man.
Well apparently I'm no fun since I won't have a threesome with him and my mother.
She looks like she smells of sausage, sunblock and sorrow.
When you were bringing him upstairs I told him to bring you on down to pound town. you're welcome.
By the way, do you realize that you asked me how much you could get for your eggs last night. And once you learned the price said that you had plenty to share.
Apparently I missed the "You may have to jack off a horse" part of the application.
fond memories of taking my pregnancy test here in this Burger King
CAPS.LOCK.AND.SPACEBAR.ARE.BROKEN.
Hey do you or anyone you know want to get drunk for free? At 4pm tonight at rctc for field sobriety training for future cops
You know it was a good dinner party when one of the guests broke their finger and no one can remember how it happened.
My shower turned into a bath, turned into me lying on the shower floor with the water running over me... That hung over..
Randomize
