she's walking around the room telling people she can make the room move with her mind and then she shakes her head really fast yelling 'see?!'
there's a wrestler here in a Ferrari//puma hoodie who is telling girls his win//loss record as a pickup line.
You thought that the "chillable" logo on the box wine was referring to a city in italy.
you handled that situation with as much grace as someone puking involuntarily could
He took a banana and in front of everyone showed her how he wanted it done.
we got hammered off table wine and i ended up biting my acrylic nail off so i could finger his butt.. ill never look at valentines day the same
She just gave me a free latte.
Correction. She just have you a frothy, creamy path to that vagina.
I might come over. Something about you makes me matronly and I have this urge to nurse you back to health with soup and a blowjob
I whispered "you're doing a great Job" when he was fucking me. Then high fived him.
I've injured myself in such a way that i am only capable of making love standing up now
Okay I take that back some girl just said pussy sweat. Get me outta here
I found some video of you on my camera that's like 5 seconds long, where you announce that you should have been a dentist before taking a bong hit.
we're all going for beer and wings at 7. inflate your girlfriend and bring her along too.
Sorry i ignored you for so long. I think my vibrator is broken.
Our orgasm ration was 1:45. No. Fucking. Joke. I thought I was going to die.
Randomize
