Don't bone anyone, just think of ur vibrator lol
HHaaaaaaaaa mmmmn vibrator
I'm praying to Jesus, Allah, Buddah,and the whole gang tonight that I'm not pregnant
Just paid for that girls abortion on my dad's black card. I feel like P-Diddy.
Stop making all the ice cubes only big enough to fit in your bong. It takes like 3 trays for a glass of ice water
You mean 'full wolf form' wasn't a drunk text?
I feel like the only solution to this is to get naked and lay in the shower for a hour then see what my penis wants to do.
I never thought I'd say this, but there is a life threatening amount of rumpleminz in our freezer
The bouncers kicked us out around 3 so we went to the grocery store flasks in hand and asked them to turn up their music...
Just came to the realization that what I thought were orgasms were just lightheadedness from hyperventilation. My entire sex life is a lie.
Have you picked out a bathroom stall in which to fuck? Since you've got all this free time before her plane lands...
I don't know bro. If a girl makes you cum hard enough that you pull a back muscle, she might be the perfect one to call for a massage on said muscle.
If you're signed up as "sober sister" can you do cocaine or nah
It was ok until his mom walked in and asked if he turned on the crock-pot...
I was really excited when I saw a billboard for neverbethirsty.org this morning. Then I realized it was for a church.
Did anyone see us fucking last night on the giant turtle outside downtown Disney?
Randomize
