Ambien does the same to me. One time that I took it, I got this huge bowl of spaghetti out of the fridge and thought it was a castle and that the meatballs were little slaves. I ate all of them first and then the noodles were the soldiers and the sauce was the water in the moat. And when I finished, I fell up the stairs and threw it all up.
Do you realize that we tried to rent a limo at 5am to come and take us to waffle house?
the girl sitting next to me in class is using her birth control box as a ruler
Don't worry we didnt bang. Sometimes I just bring guys home so I don't order pizza.
Just accidentally pinched my dick between two 50 pound dumbbells while doing shoulder shrugs. God hates me.
She eyed me up from across the bar and mouthed "I have no gag reflex".
I remember sucking his bleeding finger and then it's all black until he had his hand down my pants.
We can't bring brittanys dog so we are getting high and getting in my bathtub I think it's pretty safe
You fought the bouncer and lost, then challenged a hobo to a 40 chugging contest and lost. Sobriety is a good life choice.
Is it too much to ask that I wake up one morning with out a pic of your dick as my wallpaper??
Sorry man, but I'd rather do drugs with strangers than watch sports with you. It's not personal, drugs always beat sports.
Quote from doctor, "that is a VERY angry vagina".
I'm fucked.
I am stoned, not wearing a bra, and a woman. There is no way in fuck I am getting on a fucking bus.
He's so sweet...I can't see him enjoying that I got injured during sex.
I want a dick in my left hand and a Crunch Wrap Supreme in my right hand.
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