Should I be offended if he asked if he could use saran wrap to eat me out?
As a driver I hate pedestrians, and as a pedestrian I hate drivers, but no matter what the mode of transportation, I always hate cyclists.
you know how you have to have just the right ratio of chips to sandwich? same goes for pubes.
Every night before bed, when I used to say prayers, now I just think to myself 'freshman sluts. Soon'
My therapist says she wants to work on my 'trust issues'. I think she's found the cash cow within.
so as we were driving to pick up my grandma from old navy she procedes to yell into our open window.. "I'll make ya holla fo a dolla" umm...
i chipped my tooth tryin to cut thru her pantyhose. that stuff is bulletproof.
tell that swedish kid i didnt take his shotgun. he GAVE it to me.
He looked at my vag and said "you have a nice situation down there. Good work"
Vaginas creep me out. I'm disgusted by the look of them. I wonder if this is what having an ugly baby is like: you have to take care of it and love it but it just hurts you on the inside to look at it.
Having a vagina does not stop me from believeing my balls are bigger than yours.
There's a certain feeling that only comes from wearing pearls to hide hickeys
It was everywhere. My dick was a sprinkler of lost future children.
A warmed up burrito and jelly beans. The breakfast of champions.
Slept with the roommate last night and also discovered that she believes in eugenics. I may need to slow down my drinking
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