didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
eric is really sick so I'm taking care of him! :(
just blow him with soup in your mouth.
He has jerked off in so many socks I am surprised he doesn't have athletes dick
my mom found all the used condoms in my bed side table
whatd she say to you?
no words- put them all in a circle, put the bible in the middle
I wish the ER had shaved that part of my head. It would be easier to show people my staples at the bar.
So I am just swinging blind here, but I am guessing that blood in your sinus is not ideal
Not much, just your average college male Sunday cleaning period blood out of the carpet.
Tell me you're kidding.
Besides scarred, I'm not much of anything right now.
Just talked to Kate. She said I called her on Friday night. She said I was crying for 5 minutes because we were parked in front of a fire hydrant.
U can find me on my couch hungover eatin tuna evaluating my life
Tell Chris I said sorry for yelling "It's my vagina, let me do what I want with it!" at the party last night.
We tried the hang n bang, remember? You ruined it by crying and telling me you loved me while blowing me.
I just finished a four mile round trip walk to CVS to buy shaving cream and lube. You're welcome.
You know the party's good when you say "Never have I ever caused an emergency landing" and someone drinks
Officially locked in my status as an indifferent millennial by downloading Tinder.
only you would understand that I was talking from the perspective of my boobs
Randomize
