Is it bad to mix sunny d with vodka if i dont have any real OJ?
I've mixd ketchup with vodka before and called it a bloody mary, so, no.
I am one bad relationship away from having 30 cats.
All I wanted to tell you is that I fucked a guy covered in fake blood, who circumcised himself.
all i could think was her face looked like a farm accident
Do you remember trying to eat gravel when we were walking back to the dorm?
this morning your mother said to me "sorry to have to meet you like this, in my sons bed" later she said "you never know whos gonna be in there. its scary sometimes"
You never did explain why you were in wal-mart with a wok full of popcorn.
I'm sick of being the only unemployed member of the group. Doing things alone isn't partying. Its sad.
Had sex with him again...yikes. and the whole time he kept saying "i wish we could do this forever." Forever lasted about 45 seconds
I feel like the devil is trying to impregnate me through my eyeballs.
hahahaha what do we need the kangaroos for? please tell me we release them instead of doves
Your children are clinging to me like my teets are full of bountiful milkiness. They're driving me nuts. I felt my uterus shrivel up.
Oh my fucking god that cat looks just like you after you accidentally took Ketamine
I started carrying sissors in my purse to open plan B with. Both ashamed and proud.
I woke up with my my shoes on and pants half way off and missing 60 dollars. Please please please tell me you saw me last night.
Randomize
