Just incase you were wondering, the count of ladies who have perioded on chairs at our fine restaurant is now at 3.
its 9am. i just got home. spent 6 hours blowing him in a closet last night
Dude manswers just said that a guy can only cum up to eight times in one day. I'm gonna prove that show wrong.
ha well at least you have goals.
I wonder what it would be like to go to the dry cleaners and not have to inform them that all my clothes are stained with booze.
I just got a whiff of tequila through the air conditioner.
No one intentionally makes bad decisions, just errors in judgement. You have your boyfriend I have a restraining order from universal studios. It's all relative
Someone asked me what I was drinking, I was drinking rum, but I was also eating starbursts so i told them "daiquiris"
Someone at all my grapes... if it was you or one of your hoodrat friends I swear to god I'll shit in your shampoo
If I take diet pills with my edibles I'll be a perfect person
Well his dad was his wingman, so I had to fuck him. I didnt want his dad to think that he was doing a bad job and I was drunk enough to think he was doing a good job.
Score one for dad.
I was thirsty after the sex and it was a long trek back to res so naturally I stole chocolate milk from his fridge as I left
Fall is here I will miss walking downtown in nothing but paint and pasties
You kept running around yelling "I need my pajamas" & then you got naked. Shit just went downhill from there.
I just deff did the walk of shame.. His roommate/manager woke us up. A dog scared me on my stumble to the car.
This is why I'm single.
We smell like vodka and hangover
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