I'm saving my limes so I'll know how many drinks I've had.
I do the same thing, but I use ice cubes.
Was just hit on by a guy with 2 kids and one was named Rocky. I need to get out of Buena Park.
you dont have to exercise, you threw up last night!
I didn't think it was possible for the human body to be physically dependant on weed until I moved in with this kid
I heard porn and smelled bacon cooking. I knew you had to be home.
So if you ever need to know a guy who knows a guy who knows a guy that can put a 24oz beer can up his ass... Hit me up...
im sure shes a lovely person but i cant be friends with someone that doesnt drink. its just not right.
thats because you have standards... and i have a thing for guys that give me free drugs.
He fell on top of me at a party. I slept with him a week later. We've been fucking for 2 moths. Most successful relationship ever.
I really shouldn't be this use to hearing "YOURE THAT GIRL?!?!"
That was the night you tried to convince me you threw up your sould because your throwup was black
I think after tonight I'm 85% lesbian
The last time I saw you, you were giving the stripper a lap dance.
you should come have a drink with me (non alcoholic or otherwise) im at the same bar as your sister and a few guys that would apparently "lick your butthole"-congratulations
He sent me the milestone first dick pic this morning, it looked like a baby's fist holding a tree trunk. I'm frightened and aroused in equal measure.
Randomize
