If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
I don't know if it's her mysterious past or atrocious grammar, but I think I'm in love.
Threesomes are so awesome. You even have company on your walk of shame :)
Peanut butter while high is kinda stressful
It's official. Every single female in their late teens and early 20s get their fb statuses from a pool of cliched "quotes" which all say, without saying, "boys treat me like shit, I know they do, but one day I'll find 'the guy' who will treat me right no matter how psychotic I am." Vom.
My hanfda are one with the u niverse and I am cirretnly inhaling a couch
Okay hun. Well my neighbors haven't called the cops yet so I think we're good. No more burning in the yard.
Just assume that every drink in that house has alcohol in it.
I literally have nothing else left to cut besides my drug budget; the dark days are among us
And I'm bringing my coffee cup of wine.
I feel like we need to find him and explain that if the two of them would just fuck he'd understand.
Not sure how but he broke three of his fingers while giving a blowjob. How does someone that accident prone survive to adulthood?
Doing a walk of shame at Wal-Mart at 3:30am because when I left at 11pm I was getting milk
At 10 PM you were shit faced in the kitchen makin nachos... Naked. I wasn't sure what to do besides walk away...
Do thigh high boots and a ball gag count as a costume?
Randomize
