I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
I hope
Love having children with random chicks
I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
so I got guilt tripped into giving her a new years kiss, and she proceeded to try and eat my face while mounting me. when you give a mouse a cookie...
I mean he's a cool ass guy, but he's genuinely in love with a fat chick. I just can't take him seriously as a person.
i am too hungover to go to class can you just call me and put it on speaker phone
My goal is to go an entire semester without cocaine. That's an adult goal right?
IDK DUDE BUT HE TIED IT WITH A SHOELACE SO I GOTTA FREE SHOELACE OUTTA THE DEAL. THIS GIVES A NEW MEANING TO LACED DRUGS
At least your night didn't end with three cops seeing your ass and you sitting on the ground in a wig throwing your shoes at people
He rolled up to the party in an ice cream truck. He was definitely my first priority
Like, she can be the shepard of the gays. Delivering him unto homosexuality.
This morning he fucked me while I was brushing my teeth. So I kept brushing as he thrusted. Then I brushed his teeth with my toothbrush while he was still in me. So hygienic.
I better make out with at least 3 princesses and 4 animals this weekend.
He has no idea I'm scrolling through Instagram while he's going down on me. I'm so bored.
But you''re still having sex with him. And a hobo convinced you to.
She's like a cask of Amontillado. Very tempting if I was drunk, but sober, I know I'll get fucked over in the end.
Randomize
