Mind blown. Apparently, it's PRErogative, not PERogative. I blame Bobby Brown.
My 3rd grade teacher, who was also my fav, thought i was in prison. That seriously upsets me.
So I finally got the Patron washed off my boobs.
i ate 2 chicken nuggets and puked out 5. that doesn't even make mathematical sense
FYI you just passed out mid-blow job. Consider this my letter of resignation.
So how does it feel getting boo'd by the entire 5 guys restaurant
He says I tipped the waitress ten dollars because she "smelled like pigs in a blanket."
This coke is making my nose hairs dance. That good.
Im in my back seat in my own drive way with two beers left to shotgun and watching the sunrise. Am I over her yet?
You also once spent an entire hour explaining the origin of the strip steak to me.
At least you didn't sleep with Ashley's uncle.
The last time the Patriots won the Super Bowl I lost my virginity. I can only imagine what'll happen if they win this year.
OMG I accidentally abducted a cat. Now there is a cat in my apartment. I NEED TO UNDO WHAT I HAVE DONE
within five minutes of being here her dog found my vibrator in my bedroom and was carrying it around all proud! and her mom is here. so embarrassing :(
Dignity. Ruined. Must. Smoke. Weed.
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