Yeah she is in it for the money, wait til she finds out i am broke and the sex doesnt get better
shes trying to book us all flights to Ireland..I let her get mine and yours but stopped her when she tried booking the guy next to her at the library
and she is using the paper towels as a pillow... but you know what? i've done that too.. so u can really tell we are sisters.
I don't even know why im sitting in this office eating a poptart.
If you fuck her, Im going to call you and I want you to cough 2 times.
i walked in on you eating. you had the fridge wide open and you were rotating between steak and handfuls of captain crunch.
We were making condiment sandwiches, then her husband kept trying to get me to sleep with her. I hate being the only lesbian at the party.
This may be hard to believe, but that wasn't the first time I was fingered under a snuggie
It's not
Hey man, I found your crocs and your visor in the road. Got em for you.
I asked him to explain what he meant by "hooking up" in paragraph form
This electrician is just ripping my house apart and I'm too hungover to ask questions
Think I have the only job where I can be naked in a room with my manager at work. Apart from hookers
Your Vodka Saturday privileges have been reduced to Beer until you go a full month without losing an article of clothing.
I have two bottles of emergency tequila stashed under my desk at work.
Between falling off a shelf on to a concrete floor and sex with you - i may never walk again.
Randomize
