How do you jack off and text at the same time?
On my iPhone they have an app for that
omg i forgot michael madsen was in free willy this is the most epic movement of my stoned life
im in his phone as 'great ass to tap'
I guess we had a small kitchen fire somehow when we decided to bake fruitroll ups and croutons...
just because you are in college doesnt mean its okay to pregame easter mass.
She's never going to forget it... Christmas Anal.
Because you know it would be fucking amazing to get trashed and shatter the dreams of 12 year old girls. I might get a shirt.
Hold on I'm doing something revolutionary that blossomed from a high idea
Literally just one second of unclenched butt hole away from shitting my pants.
my mom called me mid shot and i accidentally answered and kept calling her my own name. somehow i thought that would help the situation.
I've counted 3,503 loops of fabric on my carpet so far. FUCK YOU ACID!!!
You did a body shot out of her belly button with a bendy straw.
It's 7am. I'm sitting on the curb in last nights clothes with a nose bleed and no idea how to get home. Low moment I feel.
Idk but when you think about it the last time I did bottomless mimosas I ended up getting my nipples pierced so it might be fair
I just hit 3 trees and a golf cart.. all on the same hole
Put me down for a bogey
Randomize
