That arnold schwarzeneger picture looks strikingly similar to paul
Not half as good looking as paul
I'd say paul has bigger bicep peaks, but who am I to judge
I seem to remember you being very disappointed that drinking Michelob Ultra didn't give you magic powers.
He ran headfirst into the atm. Thenasmed us what our spirit animals were...he said his was either a dolphin or a cabbage
this is getting really bad. i thought the chandelier in the dining room was one of those claws from the claw games in an arcade and i spent the past five minutes jumping left to right so the claw wouldn't grab me
I don't know what it was about last night, but every bar that i went to there was at least one girl there that i had done something with. I'm sure the girl that i went with knew because they all grabbed my penis and told me to call them.
God, you're amazing. I just want to hang out with you in the nude and watch Monty Python movies whilst we quip about how comedians just aren't as funny anymore.
Credit for originality. Points off for a mild to moderate creepy factor.
I will now send you explicit pics of mine and her genetalia bound together forever in the devils dance that is sexting.
I was dancing with a blow torch in one hand and a bowl of weed in the other
Its a cash in stratch tickets to afford cigarettes and coffee kind of friday
My sober self will be embarrassed tomorrow. For now I am laughing my ass off.
Youre having a picnic
Yeah but all we have is vodka, so it's getting a bit out of hand.
Can I pee and smoke my bong at the same time or is that like eating on the toilet
There are regrets.. and there are RAGRETS
So now I have had sex with 2 people my son graduated high school with.
I'm a freaking penguin. one mate for life, and really awkward at parties
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