Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
THE most awkward situation I have EVER been in
Also, I just threw up a little in my mouth and had to act like everything was totally fine.
You need to stop texting me at SEVEN in the morning. It wakes my one night stands up and makes for the awkward talk way too early.
That's what happens when you let Keystone Light make your decisions.
I saw your purple underwear in the road this morning.
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
You know me. Don't need roses, just dick and food.
Do you ever feel like a plastic bag?!
Rosemary is literally sitting on the ground holding on to the rug because she thinks she is going to fall if she lets go. We smoked way too much.
Bon Iver should never be played when you just ate shrooms.
I'm still laying in bed cuz I don't feel like adulting yet
did I ever tell you about my gay jesus theory?
Things that don't wash off in the shower: black eyes and hickies.
I just need to find a good handlebar mustache to sit on until I'm over that beard
Who the abstract fuck do you think you are!?
Randomize
