And i quote: "where's y'alls from comin' in with them accents?" - from a mississipi mcdonalds
Well maybe next time you won't tell me to do whatever I want.
i just compared eating a chick out to "gargling a cheeto"
the last thing i remember is fucking her. GAME CHANGER i woke up in another bedroom to her younger sister blowing me
Whoever said drinking more helps a hangover didn't drink 96% of a fifth of whiskey last night. This is absurd.
Hairspray is covering 85% of my body. Help.
Wait until you see the roof.
Even though I wasn't drunk last night, I peed in the sink just so I could keep my record going
He did a line, told me my hair looked pretty against the background of the clouds, and then we fucked. Good afternoon
In hindsight buying the pill crusher with my vicodin prescription might have been too much.
Well last time he got out of rehab he lasted 6 hours. So 3 days this time is quite an accomplishment.
We told you to go get more fire wood and you came running back with a log that was on fire, not drunk at all.
But mostly the blowjob in the airport bathroom was what I was laughing at.
i have officially banned the recreational use of bayonets.
it wasn't a total waste of time; I mean how often do you get to play scotch pong?
.....fair enough
probably because i sent a bunch of guys a snap saying happy one year to my nipple piercings
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