If my vag had twitter, what do you think it would say?
Your an asshole
Actually, it's "you're an asshole"
My point exactly
Jake was my 1st thought but I seriously thought u already did him... & then there's the getting the clap story... so I settled on Ben for my guess.
I have done Jake, not Ben. But this was fresh meat. And P.S. it was ghonnerea.
Ahh, yes. It's apparently too early in the morning to keep your partners and their std's straight.
well, atleast the road to alcoholism is fun.
On a scale of one to Chris Brown, how angry are you?
Why am I in a dog kennel?
It was for your own safety
I think I've lost the thrill of being a slut. It's just that the newness has worn off, I think.
Sorry my moustache came off because I was face first in a layered bucket full of jello shots.
Nothing says happy baby shower like showing up still kinda drunk from last night with an open tall boy in one hand and fries in the other.
Can I also remind you that we insisted on touching his mustache?
Well of course I remember it took up like 20 minutes of my night.
I hope you have a dream of a sloth with my face touching you erotically
Tonight I'm getting fucked up for America because Lord knows we need it.
Nothing like being naked and confused and clutching a scented candle...at least I woke up in my own bed though.
drunk boyfriend and drunk me are NOT meant for each other
On the good side I got hit on by a cute college guy. But the bad side was having sex in a frat house for first time in 9 years
Randomize
