I think I'm maturing; i was gonna watch porn and then take a nap but i motivated myself to put my laundry in first.
this is like her 8th guy since december, is she wasn't frumpy people would call her a whore
Said he had been eating pineapple for a week before our 1st date. Not sure if thankful for his consideration or offended by his assumption.
on the way home I asked you what exit we get off at and your answer was "just like the goldfish"
No. If you are gonna end this, you are gonna do it right. Not by getting bombed and falling on a strange penis. That was the old you.
So I'm trying to figure out if starting the day running around the quad in a black t-shirt and bikini w/ a drawn on mustache is a good way to start the day...
They made out. Sounded like hippos drinking water
My dick was almost in plain McDonald's sight
We watched the first ever season of SNL and fucked for so long. He accidentally punched me in the face, but I mean, John Belushi was the background noise of our sex. I can deal with it.
I'm covered in glow paint and I can't find my shirt. So, successful night
I just had a drunk lesbian experience.... How do I break it to my boyfriend??
MDMA IS GREAT AND YOU WERE THE WORST GIRLFRIEND EVER.
I'm going to make a stack of pancakes and fuck it. Right now.
He was like 120 lbs and 20 of that was penis
On cleanup... i've counted 94 solo cups so far.. oh, and i found a miniature top hat in the microwave
Randomize
