I'm home now. bring me food and boobies
my tampon string is in my asshole... do you think i can get it out without anyone noticing?
i'd get off the bar first.
waiting in line for my ID. the kid in front of me reaks of hopes and dreams and hornyness-- freshmen by calvin klein
Just watched the couple I sit for and 4 of their friends shotgun beers like college kids. Please let this be us when we get older.
Not much, just your average college male Sunday cleaning period blood out of the carpet.
Tell me you're kidding.
Besides scarred, I'm not much of anything right now.
It's was about average. But he had a tat on his thigh that said "pull-out n' rollout" so I won't have to worry about a round two request.
It felt like a sumo wrestler slapped me. With a wet hand. 8 times in a row.
Sarah is throwing up still and I'm eating salad with my fingers
Just walked by the barren window naked in a family neighborhood. Who needs dignity.
Should we go get some celebratory "I'm not pregnant" tacos?
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST
Due to this morning's events my new porn name is Reepa Nipplov.
My makeup bag looks like it has lips and wants to sing to me... Too high?
i think it’s okay to see him. you just can’t wind up with his penis in your mouth again
hes sooooo boring!!! I feel like I’m in a relationship with myself now. I have an 8 inch dildo under my bed, THATS how much I’m in a relationship with myself.
Randomize
