I think I just sat on my labia. Can I borrow some scotch tape?
birthday sex, birthday sex, birthday sex
I'm on my period, period, period
Oh it's happening. I'm Chugging a beer while sitting next to a 6 year old
Can you explain to me why I woke up with my hands tied to the hotel bed with the phone cord???
Quick question, how many times can you get chlamydia before your vagina just gives up and falls off?
he is allergic to cats. we can only glue dog hair on him. otherwise he might die and i dont want to be responsible for that.
ahaha ok
let's call it "werewolfing"
Bring gay.
By that I meant the rum. I just realized that my request made no sense. You always bring gay.
Oh you know..Chillin with your dad.
With a fannypack full of drugs.
If you were more comfortable around gay men, then you too could get wasted at the gay dance club and go home with hot girls.
You ever fart so hard while you are asleep that you wake up screaming?
I need a good cry or an orgasm and neither of them are gonna happen to me and i'm so frustrated
CUT OFF ALL YOUR HAIR COME ON MAN LET'S DO THIS
it's like that time i was drunk at relay for life. but with balloon animals...
its been well over a year and hes still saying sex with me was epic
On the brightside we know now that empty pringle cans are accepted at mcdonalds as cups.... Screw people who judged us, we saved a buck
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