she looked like the bat from fern gully.
Whatcha textin bout Willis?
well when i got there she was attempting to stick the cat in her mouth.. so maybe you should go check on her
They're drinking Schnapps out of Spaghetti-o's cans. Please come pick me up.
oh no you fucking didn't eat my mac and cheese you cunt
You know you had a bad blackout when you forget you held the stanley cup.
i'm moving back early just in case the freshmen need a tour of the school
oh right the one that ends on your bed
I knew I was high when I wanted to write a poem about how great it felt to wash my face
Fine then. I'll just do all this coke on my own this weekend and die. It'll be strictly your fault.
There was a note in my hello kitty underwear telling me "don't go over 9000"
By getting lucky do you mean I get one of your incredible BJs or you not killing me by the end of dinner?
My makeup looks extraordinary for nine tequila shots, running four blocks, falling asleep with my face in the toilet, and doing the walk of shame across campus in the rain. And to think I'm single.
True idk how my parents didn't know I was blackout. I ate like 4 pieces of cheesecake and showed my cousins my boobs
I DIDN'T WATCH THE PILLSBURY DOUGH BOY PORN!!!!
He showed up with a hearse full of beer and is currently shooting pumpkins with a flare gun. Who gives a shit if he's a furry. We need to party with him more often.
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