I just saw a man with a full beard and frosted tips
there is no god
Apparently last night I sat at the bar with an upside down sharpie lightning bolt on my forehead, yelling "It's Harry Potter's birthday! Let me be on the qudditch team!" And I kept calling the bartender Dobby. There are videos.
Just met a guy who has been in college for 7 years and still classified as a junior. Then watched him shotgun 10 beers. Found my new hero
you had a panic attack, pissed yourself, and started crying. you never go above the kiddie level of my lil bros schools haunted house ever again.
round 2?
EVER.
I learned nothing from that class except drinking and chemistry go together great.
I was so high i started crying when i saw how much puppychow was there.
He was spoon feeding me wine all night.
He doesn't need to speak English. He needs to speak sex.
He's either jacking off or listening to Kanye West.
Whoever said that remembering a girls name is a basic rule for getting laid has never met me.
And your cousins porn shouldn't have been the first straight porn you watched. And for that I am sorry
It's like when your main girl and your side girl start having their period in the same week
You are the most depressed sports fan I know
You said dick pics aren't attractive
Random ones, from strangers, no. But a beautiful penis I know and love, absolutely :3
It's funny because every time I go up and down the stairs it's an adventure. A A DRUNK ADVENTURE. PS I ALREADY THREW UP WTF
poll: am I friendzoned if he just called me brochacha? on one hand, he called me bro, but on the other, he used the a to make it feminine.
Randomize
