Did you go home with that guy without me?
Sorry boo - it's pouring and I found a boy with a car
Taylor Swift is so right about you.
do you know how bad I want you right now?
As bad as i want you to stop texting me?
is that a hint?
So..he puked on my dress and I had to walk back to the dorms in his little sisters Scooby Doo pajamas.
I don't know you.
i'm going through the NYU 2014 group looking for future drunken hookups. too slutty?
Ever since he's come out, my facebook stalking experience has gotten uncomfortable
i wont go near him until the smell goes away , and he takes the chex mix box off his head.
Although I wish I was out drinking, this cough syrup has me slightly more optimistic than usual.. I heavily debating trying to find mystical creatures and selling them to rich people as pets
I seriously told a stripper I would hold her hand when she goes to get ass implants.
I send out my deepest condolences for seeing my ass last night.
wellllllll.... I literally just puked in my mouth so perhaps this is not the epic love connection I believed it to be 3 minutes ago.
For my birthday I want you to get me in bed with Donald Trump. That is all. You have 3 months
Just delivered a pizza to a holiday inn and a delivery driver from Me n Ed's walked up at the same time, we both were going to the same floor so we stood in the elevator making small talk about delivery stuff, but a small part of me wanted to deck him, stand over him and shout,"FOR THE HUT MOTHERFUCKER, FOR THE HUT!"
Jesus christ, don't start a pizza delivery gang war.
Pretty sure I love my nipple piercing more than I'll love my children someday
I wasnt 2 drunk i sobered up around the time we were shooting the fire extinguishers
Randomize
