WHY DOES GOD HATE MY DICK
I don't know how but I have our hotel room door handle in my purse... this can not be good
8$ liquor pitchers. I'm gonna wear two or three pairs of underwear so when drunk me takes them off there'll still be a pair on.
he actually managed to pick a girl up by telling her that her skirt was ugly and she didnt do a good job with her makeup. thats some seriously low selfesteem
the story is to long to tell you via txt so when you notice the tattoo on your ass call me.
you're like that jamaican tarat card reading chick... only with herpes
do you think its obvious that we spent all afternoon playing naked body oil twister?
Give him a trash can and a welcome home balloon, he will be good.
I was barred out and drunk as fuck locked out at 3am in my Indian costume. It was literally freezing outside. I laid down on the concrete and made a bonfire with dry leaves. Then proceeded to ask.the.bonfire nicely to "please dont go out". Drunk me went strait up survival mode.
More importantly this is sex weather and i am striking out
Dude, you can't even imagine the trip, I actually thought that there were Care Bears sitting next to me at the bar, I'm pretty sure I started hitting on the pink one.
Drunk me spoon fed everyone baby food last night.
I mean, I would have, but I couldn't come up with a logical reason to bring up oral sex during an orientation.
First thing I find in the car I just pick up from my grandpa? A discount card for the strip club down the road from his apartment. The force is still strong.
Do you think it's my receding hair line that makes all the milfs attracted to me??
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