why do the even put the "Please drink responsibly" on tequila ads? like has anything responsible ever come from tequlia. No. never.
The pick up line I used was "Grab my sack, you'll be back." Then I winked at her.
My roommate just got home. Made an entire package of bacon. Ate it. And then went to bed.
WHY AREWNT YOU HERE SO MUCH FUN STUFF DO IT GET IN CAR NOW caps lock
I have to overdose on valtrex I had a rough weekend.
her body is proportioned like a family guy character
somebody put my brain in a crown royal bag and beat the shit out of it
Like it was the Mama Mia of shit shows. That bad.
You were being mean. And telling everyone to suck your six inch strap on. People were not pleased
Please be lying.
Im not. Your family was creeped out
You paid a stripper $40 to choke me out last night.
i told her i loved her afterwards and she said "i know," kissed me, and got up to start making breakfast.
dude, she han solo'd you. keep her.
answer my text you professional douchebag
and i mean that in the cutest, flirtiest way possible
Evidently I placed three booty calls at the same time...it was an ugly scene. I'm never getting that high again.
Meeting up with one of your students at your drug dealers house is always an awkward moment
So, anyways, aside from wanting to seduce my roommate for booze, how's everything been
Randomize