are you drunk enough to hook up with me yet?
2 more and I will have fucked 75 percent of my acting class. best. elective. ever.
The closest thing to a sext that you will ever receive from me is a picture of pepperonis on Greg's asscheeks, clenching.
No, your dick is problems. Anyone you fuck haunts us for the rest of the semester. If you need to get laid, I'll personally drive you out of state.
I went in to wake you up this morning and you had a condom draped across your throat like a necklace. There were no boys in the house last night, what were you doing?
Terrible hangover + phoenix airport + pizza hut....I think I might have entered one of the levels of hell.
Yeah sorry about that. I got pulled into the Russian student society's end of term party. There was too much vodka and eurodance to come help you pack.
.It's like gods test of willpower against vaginal comfort
Listen I took a family sized bottle of merlot to the face last night and there's an svu marathon on. Give me some time please.
Easy Mac and you are the sexiest things in my life
This is what we get for finishing a whole box of Franzia by ourselves
I still don't understand if he's using me to write his resume or if we're dating
I'm super depressed and stressed and I just want spaghetti and sex...
Gonna be late for work. Sex comes first. Priorities.
Hey bro are you still alive??? I'm sure you are wondering how you ended up laying on the floor at the foot of your bed and why there is a wheelchair by your door....
Randomize
