im returning my roomates shirt with a "i got laid in this" thank you note
so was this before or after i puked down the ice luge?
like why cant he just admit that he still wants to fuck me even though im underage
Wore last nights jeans to Christmas Dinner with the fam, found a half gram of blow, while they're praying ill be railing.
I came so hard that my back seriously popped like 5 times.
81 degrees in april.... Thinking margaritacicles, you in?
I was seriously concerned she had died since she wasn't moving at all, but then I asked here where she was last night and her response was to hip thrust the air.
I mean I sucked his dick at 3 AM... UNDERWATER. I think I have earned a follow back on twitter.
Done deal I'm dying it right at this moment. I'll need a red Speedo and a half shirt that is extremely tight. Like nipple tight.
I walk in and my mom has a Christian workout program playing. It's like, gospel music with an "electronic" beat to go with it. And then they try to save your soul at the end. I hate being home.
My backyard is filled with beer cans. You idiots turned our backyard into a redneck ball-pit
you know she was a bad idea when your mom offers to pay for an eHarmony account
At one point of the night i was standing at the bar and 3 of them had their hands down my pants, they were like thumb wrestling for it.
i got drunk and started dancing with the plant because you were out of town
You kept shouting about how you were the king of all bitches...and doors, for some reason.
Randomize
