We all know the best way to start a relationship is greeting while at least one of you are intoxicated, dual facebook stalking, and a two week long game of 20 questions via texts to 'really' get to know each other. In that order.
I wouldn't have it any other way. It's like a fairy tale!
shes in my pool wearing only floaties on her arms ill have to raincheck watching march madness with you guys sorry
happy birthday! Any relationship between us is now officially illegal.
God gave him joint rollers for hands
I fake pass out to avoid hookups sometimes. Last night I fake slept on my bathroom floor for like 2 hours before the guy left.
Dear America, sometimes I miss your Everclear and its consequences.
Sorry for rubbing my feet on you and repeating "good pony, stay."
I woke up smelling like chlorine with a broke toe. They know how to fucking party on lake lanier.
I feel like I got ass raped in the brain.
Heard you were the one that shit off Jamie's balcony. FYI there is a cabbie down here out for blood
I've finally done it, I've downloaded some messenger lesbians like to use because some girl wanted to flirt.
Congrats, you're all grown up now.
I FEEL LIKE A GAY BUTTERFLY
Good night I hope you dream about knitting and threesomes
In other news, I just sneezed and almost shit myself. What is happening to my life??
wait you fucked a guy who wears k-swiss? seriously?
I know, im living my 7th grade dream
He burst in the bathroom while I was peeing to hand me my beer I was looking for earlier tht night. And my pants were already down so I thought why not
So my dad just asked, "did you leave without pants a lil bit ago?"
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