it was like fucking the hulk in a smartcar
I woke up this morning to 7 word documents that all said "remember to be extremely angry at your jerk of a brother." What the hell did you do to me last night?
Just bought a pack of cigs...gas station guy informed me i took off my underwear and tried to pop a squat by the milk last night...
She made me go down the fire escape when her mom came for breakfast.
Is it possible to get a DUI in a wheelchair that's not yours?
Is it some european holiday today? We both woke up to find loaves of bread in our rooms...
my heart is telling me chinese, but my head is telling me beer.
I think I should just accept my destiny that I'm going to be someone's second wife
My tits sealed my fate
I WANT MY VAGINA TO POUND AT NICE THINGS.
I'll make some time for you! I don't know how long you need to get off, but I should only need 2-7 minutes, pending what kind of socks I have on.
But I'll just tell people it was a bar fight... Sounds a lot better than "well I was drunk and alone and eating Special K naked in my bed"
I may or may not have just let Ash Ketchum capture my wild Pikachu in a parking lot.
It's like everybody loves Raymond but the total opposite and everyone wants him to die
I WANT GRASS AND TREES NOT SOMEONE SWINGING A SWORD AROUND
Reverse road head. Sa-witch!!!
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