Just met a synchronized swimmer, can you imagine the things she could do in the water
Legs for days
Harpoon that
already putting money aside for 4/20. you ready for the greatest tuesday ever?
As a matter of fact you told me i fulfilled your "woodshop teacher fantasy"
I'm okay. We got a prayer rug sent to us with the face of jesus on it. From Tulsa Oklahoma. Kinda weird.
Last I remember we played rock paper scissors for who would fuck the guy with cowboy boots on and I won..
he looks SO much like Drake, I feel like an extreme groupie every time we have sex.
Things I want for my birthday 1. a Chipotle grade tortilla steamer 2. a new liver
The best part about being single is knowing how much everyone secretly creeps behind their gf/bfs back. You wouldn't believe..Have a great date night!
He can only pee with the faucet running. It's like I'm dating a fucking toddler.
Stoned. Scared. Bring pool noodle and onion rings.
I just put condoms in a mason jar because it looked prettier than the box.I think I've peaked.
Its not that hard to understand he's my holiday boyfriend, we ignore each other most of the year except on holidays when I give him head
Aww well I’m kinda unsober so probably best
I am NOT losing my v-card to a guy who doesn't know my ass from my elbow.
ALL I WANT IN MY MOUTH IS A GLORIOUS COCK SMOTHERED IN CHOCOLATE. DICK AND CHOCOLATE; IS IT TOO MUCH FOR A GIRL TO ASK FOR?!
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