she tried giving me head in the pool. it was more entertaining than pleasurable
Two words Indian burn...
What did she think it was, a shake weight?
Sorry you had to see that, but on the bright side...at least I trust you enough to have sex in front of you
I smuggled my gin and tonic out of the bar by shoving the glass in my pocket...mistakes were inevitable.
It was scary, we all screamed. Never make mimosas in a car.
This might sound awkward, but can I borrow a dildo for class?
You chanted SOFA PIZZA all night then we woke up to find about ten slices under the cushions where you were sleeping....
My clit ring got caught in his beard. Never. Again.
This is like the time you took a picture of your knees and told him it was your tits, isn't it?
Hypothetically how does one go about throwing away a dildo?
I was about to attempt a citizen's arrest on my RA
I'm tripping balls on ambien right now and I still feel that's a bad idea.
I'm really proud of my unchallenged ability to convert boob guys into ass men
Sometimes I look at her and just start choking. She is that much of an evil entity.
Idk I've taught my 18 month old how to say nipple so kids aren't all bad
Randomize
