Omg! Love it! Cant find L*****
What!!?? Like after last night you lost her?
Yea me and L***** came back to out hotel at 3am to regroup then went back out; police and 2 bars later, I don't know what happened. Vegas is nuts!
I woke up (not at home) to find out I kissed Ryan Caberra, flashed for free gumbys and carried around an inflatable moose named Johnson. Great success.
He asked if I wanted to blow his flute? Please call me and pretend there is a family emergency!!!
Funny how often beer equates to second degree burns on some portion of my body.
the party we were at had security guards carrying paintball guns. that probably should have been the first sign
they're like a gay fantastic four
I woke up in your car in the McDonalds parking lot. What the hell happened to 'no man left behind'?
Miller High Life will be the death of me. Well, that and shower sex.
You should hear the lecture my mom just gave me about cooking pizzas when im drunk because "I could have died".
The bottle of Wild Turkey is empty and there is a pile of wet cement in the garage. What happened?
I woke up this morning with a tampon in my nose and food EVERYWHERE...
If I show up to the mall alone looking like I do to purchase a vibrator and some Japanese food, I would judge me too.
Getting drunk in an Applebee's pray for me
Lord god protect this child
Night one million where I have madri gra beads around my neck and no justifiable reason for where they came from
Her dad had just brought down their giant American flag for 4th of July and we fucked on it. I have never been more patriotic
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