Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
hey can you give me head? jesse told me that you're really good
who is this?
jesse's little brother
my ass just sighed. even my farts are tired.
right before he busted, he moaned the british are coming.
only on the fourth of july.
we were totes just talking about. huu in the bathbub. 5 girlszzz
No sexy Asian girl. No comfy bed. I'm just gonna lie here in the hall next to the garbage can until someone comes home.
Lol. No. We cannot eat chicken while we have sex. No.
Dude so coolest charity idea ever, think aids walk but instead of miles you drink beers oh the possibilities
i need to start buying Plan B in bulk and leaving them at the door. I'm really sick of walking to CVS with my one-nighters
I need you to be best friend brutally honest about whether or not I can go into public like this.
He went to 7/11 first and came back with condoms and a banana "in case we get hungry"
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos
The cop busted in, made the music stop, and goes "GUYS LISTEN UP! DRINK, DO DRUGS, HAVE UNPROTECTED SEX, I DONT GIVE A FUCK, JUST QUIET DOWN!" Best. Cop. Ever.
Getting paid in weed to watch a pregnant adult with cooking skills is the TITS
We are totally like Jim and Pam, except ya know, drunk and not together anymore.
Randomize
