I wanna blow your doors off so bad right now.
Doors?
Rock your world. Blow you out. Skeet skeet.
This girl is more easily done than said...
I'm at subway, this 8 year old kid is judging my fashion sense with his dad. I want to kill myself.
It's ok, he's just 8, he's not judging you.
He just asked why I'm sitting alone. I honestly want to cry.
We better get laid next semester cause I prayed hard
I even walked 30 feet with my eyes closed from two love rocks so that we get some cock
I just stuffed five dollars in my near empty box of camels to remind myself to buy more. And my mom says I don't budget my money
Gym doesn't open till 11. I'm sure that of the other four people waiting in the lobby, I'm the only one still drunk and only going to the gym to shower.
Eating doritas dunked in queso con salas. Salllas. Salska. Salsa. Got it. Shhiitt. Salsa con queso. That's better. I'm hot pink socks.
the fucking easter bunny is here. he just made 3 cups in a row. no one knows who he is..
My brain is officially off for summer until late august. If that guy wants to fuck me, he better do it soon.
if i can get a chik with a dibaetes pump naked a sling certainly isnt going to get in my way
After you bought Jesus' name tag off him at the Mexican restaurant you commenced to stumbling around the lobby showing anybody who would listen what would Jesus do.
Stop giving me tequila.
I actually bought food at McDonald's as an apology for what I was about to do to their bathroom.
Seriously? A BAR is SPONSORING my 21... What did you do for your 21 again??
by the way whatever wisdom you imparted upon me last night was lost to whatever i smoked out of a beer can.
Today's hangover is brought to us by Sailor Jerry's and your dedication to my alcoholism.
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