it was terrible. i could've done a better job by myself.
I wish I could tape me & him having sex. Not for pornographic reasons, just for comic relief.
this girl ate taco bell on my bed naked last night, it was the sexiest thing ive ever seen
I vaguely remember telling people they were not trash cans
oh and i'm sorry i sold you for three cigarettes last night
Breakfast=the leftover margarita in my car. Have a great day.
she tried to handfeed me fritos while yelling "PENIS TRAIN"
I danced on the street to dubstep on a boombox for an hour with a lesbian single mother.
It's my 3rd annual 21st birthday party. Disney themed. There will be blood.
I STILL HAVE A HARD TIME DECIDING WHAT TO WEAR IN THE MORNING HOW WOULD IT BE POSSIBLE FOR ME TO PICK A PAIR OF PANTS AND GO OH ILL JUST WEAR THESE FOR THE REST OF MY LIFE
We cuddled after till the morning. Then he woke up sober... and straight.
Well there's only 4 people in my class, we've watched a video, the instructors encouraged us to start using cocaine and now we are on break.
It's been productive.
I looked into this "it's just lunch" matchmaker thing and it was like 5 grand. If I'm gonna spend five grand I'll throw in another three and get new tits and find my own fucking husband.
My disney ticket is covered in lube, do you think they will accept it?
Date with Air Force guy was nice btw. And for my next trick I'll talk him into fucking me in his fighter jet at 30,000 ft.
Randomize
