READY
for what?
TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
The girl next to me in class is taking notes on woman's suffrage with a girls gone wild pen.
I drove you home. there is no excuse for wrecking your car 3 hours later.
Every now and then I'll talk to a creeper for an extended amount of time. Randy, for instance, funded our entire night of horrible decisions.
nothing says happy new years better than a black eye from shooting yourself with a champagne bottle
You couldn't find any paper towel to clean up the wine you spilled, so you tried to use her cat.
ooh i remember now. Not very absorbent.
Is 10 pm too early to booty call a freshman?
Im in your car brotha dog. Its was unlocked, so im gonna sleep in it. well i mean i think its your car be your car.
It was actually pretty good. His cock is as fat as the rest of him and I took out my contacts so I couldn't see him clearly.
How is it that you get into at least one taco related fight a year?
I can't believe you didn't come out. There was a duckling ON THE BAR!
I woke up with $140 in twenties in my bra and have never been more puzzled.
A check for $9 that I used to buy six boxes of Girl Scout cookies bounced. I think I've hit a new low.
Apparently swingers are magnetically drawn to me?
They were playing some sort of fast food scavenger hunt game as an ice breaker. Some chick stamped a Starbucks logo on my hand and told me to go find the girl with the matching stamp and fill her with cream.
Dave had an Arby’s stamp and some sorority girl grabbed him and screamed “I’ve have the meat!”\n
Randomize
