Evryone should know as good ramen noodle cooked in beer sounds... its not
I couldnt find her vag and just started laughing uncontrollably. She was not pleased. Neither was i.
He played with my vagina like it was a turntable
just told my prof that "i dont give a fuck" about the final. nothing like a having a signed employment contract already
Luckily my prof thought I was puking from nerves and gave me motivational mini speeches the entire final.
And tell the hostess not to worry, she's narcoleptic and fell asleep on the way to the bar, but she'll be fine in a few minutes.
I just replaced the poop spray with an air horn... Now we wait!
You dropped my mother on the dance floor. She has a concussion. You didn't apologize. Don't speak to me for a while.
He called me saying he got nice rims for his car so now we can fuck in style
I'm glad you found someone that both loves you and is cool doing coke off your tits. Proud of you.
It's 5am and I come home to you naked on the kitchen table and 3 people I never saw before fucking on the back porch ... and my weed gummy worms are gone. fuck you I'm taking your mom's offer
meow
use your words like a big girl
i ran over your cat.
No, it's okay that he's on a date. I attach no more emotion to him than I do my vibrator.
Everyone has seen your nipples. It's like asking if they ever walked on grass. You need better hangover questions.
My ovaries melted while we were talking. I almost told him I would suck his soul out through his dick
That would be a memorable parent teacher conference for sure
Randomize
