You drinking a lot?
No.
Define a lot
Yea. The knew something was up when i told them i had to go pick up goat milk and and and a roasted chicken at 2 am
I don't really want to write this paper. It's the last one of the semester - I need to savor the feeling of procrastination.
Oh please. You given/recieved a handjob out in public. I think that shy ship has sailed.
woman puking in liquor store parking lot at 9:30 on a tuesday morning = best commute ever.
went from writing my paper to watching obamas speech to crushing beers and singing springsteen in a crowd of 100 within 20 minutes. I love this country
Stripper pole. Sore legs. More vaca money.
As for the 14 hours of vodka. I am all that is man.
Dramatic love triangle! I guess mystery Asian and I will just have to fight it out for your love.
Just woke up with an eye that wont open, a half eaten piece of pizza on my chest and a raging boner.
i'm almost positive she was a dude but like it doesn't even matter
re read what you just said
I just came so hard I growled. Definitely found my gspot.
I woke up with a bunch of jolly ranchers and an eight ball in my purse. Successful
I was told I look like trouble once and that was by a fireman at the sex show. I was carrying two beers and a penis pinata.
I probably should have told her I was actually the drunkest one there before she let me pierce her ear
Randomize
