Dude, she had a vegina. I felt like Indiana Jones cutting a path through the jungle.
pshh wine cellars. now if he has a tequila cellar whole different story
We just used hot candle wax from our joint lighting candle to make a bunch of new small ones how stoned are we
I only have two playlists on my iPod. One for when im getting drunk, one for when I'm getting high. Is this something to be worried about?
The saltiness of my tears mix perfectly with the tequila.
I was just tagged in a picture with a bunch of people i don't know in a house i don't recognize wearing a purple cowboy hat and a boa...i hate tequila
Everything smells like beer. Everything. But I cant drag myself out of bed to take a shower. So beer it is.
He was ugly. Like horse ugly. But he was built for power, not for speed.
I dunno what's worse, the fact that I hooked up with a guy that shaves his armpits or that I didn't notice until he brought it up the next day
YES please come visit. Lets go get belligerent. I won't even pepperspray you
I will teach you the ways of the ho life, my little gay grasshopper.
One three hour marathon fuck session and now she's divorcing her husband. Should I get business cards made?
Just cuz I'm recovering alcoholic does NOT make me the taxi for you every weekend
I POOPED CONFETTI TOO. Ingested unacceptable amount of it oh my god can I die from this?
I'm at home 4 xanax deep watching She's all that.. no I don't want to go out. The couch is eating me.
Randomize
