Good news! Whoever used this stall at Target earlier...not pregnant!
We all just poured out a sip of our drinks for you. One for our pussy whipped homie.
I would pay so much money for a video of you fucking a sheep
if I hooked up with that creppy kkid in bio does that count as doing charity work during the holidays?
I wish my dick could take responsibilities for his own actions
Just had sex in the basement of the library... I knew I was paying $120,000 for something more than a law degree
Pregaming class all semester has made this final review session more like my introduction to the topic.
Turned the water balloon filler into a jungle juice fire extinguisher. Please call me tomorrow afternoon and make sure that i'm still alive.
I think that "I fucked your little brother" wasn't the best way to introduce yourself.....
I'm at work. It's margarita night. Someone literally just shouted "MURICUH!"
God bless us, everyone.
My underwear said "hard to get" on the butt. He laughed when he took them off.
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog.
I seriously thought Satan had his hand up my asshole and was pulling out my soul. Never. Again.
I went to steal condoms from your room and all I could find was chik fil a sauce
Pro tip: When you spend the afternoon banging your boss, don’t meet your mother-in-law for dinner if you still smell like cum and watermelon flavored lube
Randomize
