i'm trying to reconcile what i did last night with who i am as a person.
im glad we only fight about serious things like the hills and disney scene it
Fell off bed. Face first. 10 stitches. huge scar on forehead. totally going to start telling ppl my parents died fighting Voldemort.
She put baby oil on her toes and i am not legally allowed to talk about what happened
There's three frat guys comparing how you were in bed. apparently you have gotten worse with time
I love my roommate; her alcohol problem, her proclivity for passing out on the living room couch, and her fucking awesome size d tits that can never remain clothed. Craigslist jackpot.
got into a fight with a bouncer over who's moustache is better again last night...
We're both on the slippery slope toward middle age...and really shame riddled bar experiences
Wingman of the year award. I made out with her gay roommate in order for you to get laid. Better have been good.
The gay roommate was probably better than her. Consider yourself lucky.
Terrible hangover + phoenix airport + pizza hut....I think I might have entered one of the levels of hell.
she told me she wanted to fuck me because i was "rugged". if the definition of rugged is a lack of manscaping, slightly overweight, and pounding 16 oz pbrs, then yes i am rugged as fuck
You want to know how I feel? I feel like Cady Heron pushed me in front of a bus last night.
Its guy fieris flavor town of suffering™
How ya feelin' champ?
Like a million bucks that was soaked in alcohol.
At some point you said you just wanted to get laid, so we had a moment of silence for your dead sex life...
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