I wonder what it would be like to be a slice of cheese.
There is a distinct lack of front teeth here.
do you know what somber means? it's kinda the opposite of a kegstand
youre just mad i got the high score on the breathalyzer
Im deleting that text because its a possible ncaa violation
Im blowing my nose and the only thing coming out is beer
Pretty sure that's a used tampon hanging from the tree outside my window.
dude this night sums up my single life. naked, crying, and covered in honey. i need to get laid.
She pulled vodka outta the dryer and told me to drink it
I couldn't tell if they ere dancing or fucking but they won the costume contest
Put some vodka in it
Its 7am
put some vodka in it
I would say "man cannot subsist on sexting and brownies alone" but I think it's actually possible.
Life lesson 8263 if drinking a beer in the shower be careful when shampooing... Tresemme flavored rolling rock sucks
Nothing says "Happy New Year" like having to shit into a plastic bag.
skyped with him for 45 min in the bath while i shaved my legs. new level in the relashionship
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