no one is going to fuck you in a field of bunnies
they just dont make restraining orders like they used to.
maybe i get so drunk and make stupid mistakes cuz Subconsiously im preparing for my real world debut
We just took shots out of seashells. Welcome spring break 10.
It can't be good... The last recollection I have is singing lullabys to his penis
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
There are 144 bottles of wine in my mother's pantry. She just shrugged her shoulders and said it was for the wine pong tournament on Christmas Day.
i was sitting in the back of a squad car completely stoned watching airplanes take off
And now I have a massive dip in and a Bloody Mary that would catch on fire if you put a flame close to it, with no pants on... At 8:15Am. Being single is pretty legit
i turned around and there he was, right in my face. i was mid deep throat of a hot dog that i was eating with my hands and no bun. you win FSU, you win.
I feel badly that he has cancer, but this does not mean I am obligated to have sex with him. Again.
At least they play good movies in the waiting room of the pregnancy resource center.
Just in case you blacked out, we had sex, you came in me, we need plan B, we fell off your top bunk, broke your roommates chair, i still like you, but i'm in pain and am going to bed
my lips are numb and my face feels like a pool. PENGUINSSSSSS
Share, now.
you asked how they got the microwave in the air. we had to explain three times that it was mounted there until you finally feel asleep
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