I wish there was a Glade Plug-in for vaginas
sorry can't make it tonight, greg's getting back from italy. he's had two weeks of carbs and no gym; now's my chance to get myself a piece of that newly-fat, low self-esteemed ass.
I mean looking back on it, it's unlucky but at least now we can say we were in jail from 2011 to 2012
That's thinking positively..
tried to out drink an american air force weapons loader. never again
Im going to bed. I'm seeing 7 of everything and my world smells like gravy
I don't think I even want to know why you are sending my husband pictures of your nutsack.
That's what you get for dating construction workers you meet in tunnels.
I'd rather be sodomized with a fullly decorated Christmas tree.
I knew it was a bad night when the only thing I could remember was you force feeding me tortilla chips as I hugged the tire of my car and begged to have my stomach pumped.
Dude hobos go hard. I learned a lot last night.
I got my period during my acid trip. It was weird.
You know youre getting old when you I.D. the person trying to take you home to be sure they're over 25. Help me.
she peed her pants, took them off, the put them back on. but she only put her legs in one hole.
Did you just affectionately call me a scrotum?
I don’t know how you celebrated 4/20 but I set a Payless trash can on fire
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