Is there a reason "Call me when you're legal" is written on my arm? I'm 22..
im surrounded by empty glasses of chocolate milk WTF
you know that saying beer then liquer makes you sicker, it should be beer then pickles makes you throw up alot, everywhere.
At the wedding. Seated next to the bar. No way this ends well
What happened to chicks over dicks?
That rule does not apply to 9 inch dicks..
Well see how he likes it when I randomly start crying and saying my dads name during sex I WILL RUIN ALL HIS FUTURE BONERS
He said I could pay him back in blow jobs. What's the going rate for those these days?
Post-sex nachos deserve a song.
I was changing in front of my window and my neighbor text me saying, "nice pubes."
I woke up to the sound of him repeatedly tapping out SOS in Morse Code using his hard cock.
It probably would have happened but I just can't picture myself losing my virginity while laying on top of his Quiksilver duvet set.
The only things in my fridge are almond milk, Smirnoff Ice and chicken noodle soup. I'd say I've done mama proud.
i ate her out in full view of all her roomates. the word awkward doesnt even cover it.
Just puked. First it was bright neon blue then it turned to bright lime green. How does that even happen? And wtf was I drinkin last night?
Everybody at Lexi's party found out I'm both a screamer and a moaner after he ate me out on the pool table downstairs. Just another sunday night in Alaska
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