Sweater Vest, Chin Strap, Beard, sporting a white Beret- Please don't ever let me be THAT guy.
Well, at first I was really confused. But then I realized that he was talking from his penis's perspective... in third person.
I woke up and took my shirt off, and there was what I was assume to be pieces of tree in my chest hair. Any ideas about that one?
His thanks his mom for not having an abortion at his wedding toast. I love frat weddings.
it was either a cry for help or you were gargling vodka. we didnt care either way.
I feel that shower jager is exactly what this man needs after last night.
You're a disgrace to gay men everywhere.
You thought your socks were broken. They were just inside out.
I may be in the process of acquiring a second male fuck buddy and dating a girl....FUCKING STOP THE TRAIN I'M ON! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!!
The little girl I babysit saw pink plastic shot glasses in my car and asked what they were for and I told her they were princess teacups.
she just called me the flavor packet to her ramen noodles. get me the fuck out of here.
you were like "guys ... i think i got fingered while dancing tonight"
our poor poor cab driver
Not every day do you see a hooker getting arrested at noon. Just kidding, we live in Reno.
His girlfriend left him for the pizza guy. I am not fucking kidding.
PANTIES FOUND
My dad told me that my grandparents are giving me $20,000 and my actual response was "do you know how many kittens I could buy with that?!?"
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