Sometimes I find that I've been touching my boob(s) without even realizing it.
Please tell me you did not just serenade her with "Let's Get it On"?
Yeah I think it worked. My penis thanks you, Captain Morgan.
he literally had a slideshow of all the girls hes had sex with pictures set to american woman
Just did my hair and make up at mcdonalds so we're in the same boat.
He gets creativity points for the hot sauce. But it may be awhile until my nipples forgive him
I'm so hungover that if we go to panera, I'll probably get a bread bowl to throw up in.
He brought wine and beer. I'll put my pants on for wine and beer.
I was expecting it to be of the "I am your vagina's reckoning" caliber.
if masturbating while stoned isn't called "weed whacking" then i just don't know how to live my life anymore
DID YOU REALLY JUST GIVE ME A FIRST BASE SIGN
When he saw my tits he said "wow you should be proud.
Remember the girl I had sex with in the dorm stairwell? She got married!
We spent 45 minutes searching the crevices of our friend's car with a pair of tweezers trying to find the acid that we dropped
he said he was going to fuck me like a rabbit in heat. What he should have said was faster then a train and over before a commercial
It’s gonna be hard being interviewed by this girl without remembering the time she showed me her nipple piercings at Dylan’s party
Randomize
