We're friends. And when I drunkenly send u a pic of my left testicle i would appreciate a response.
I just heard the term negative masterbation and I don't believe it
thanks for waiting 12 hours to ask if I was in a ditch or not
dude when I get home wanna help me fulfill my dream of smoking a bowl out of my saxophone?
I was just too high to be in rapids man. I just screamed for the entire time I was jostling about.
I will be going to walgreens soon.. nothing says trainwreck like pickin up a scrip for xanax at 2am drunk..
he has to serve us drink and appetizers in his french maid costume for the Pirates game tonight. Bring everyone.
NEW HOUSE RULE! If you make it in a chicks cleavage it's 3 cups and bra off.
BP at your house from now on.
I'll pretend I don't know she's blind, my morals claimed the back seat in this adventure.
At least I had a $10 coupon for Plan B today. Smart shopping for bad decisions
He smells like ham and a lifetime of poor choices
I told him to come over when I realized that I did have time for a quick booty call before church.
If sending nudes to tinder boy is considered functional then yes.
so i realized that he's only my physical relationship and beer is my emotional relationship...
I promise your sink was clogged before I threw up in it.
Randomize
