I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
Apparently I ran up to the group of cookie-cutter blonde chicks and screamed "Delta Gamma Nuuuuuuu!" really excitedly and tried to hug them and share fake sorority stories with them.
The visine ive been using for four yrs expired. in sept. of 2001.....i will never question my eye problems again.
Our adventure is going to pick up his pipe and weed that he ditched when he got pulled over the other day.
HOT DATE.
arguing about whether his trip to england or my trip on acid was better
Don't know how I even got in. I pulled my id out and threw it at the bouncer, and he just picked it up, checked it, and let me in.
Someone spilled vodka all over the elevator floor. Bring straws.
exactly. I want him to have to live with the fact that he fucked me. I want him to look me in the eye and say "you were a drunken mistake".
That amazing moment when the girl in the passenger seat decides to strip you while your driving.
you're usually drunk when you offer. there's one time you called me, told me not to dye my hair red, and asked if i wanted to see your tits.
Move ovrr Titanoc and all you others. Heres the real tale of woe. This ladys failed search for boozdy goodnezs.
Sorry for pissing on y'all's floor last night
We just had can't-look-you-in-the-eye sex and it was still surprisingly good
All I remember is the bartender saying your sucking them down and waking up on the floor in my underwear
im tired of guys just wanting to hook up with me. im like, guys, i know im pretty and i have a slammin bod and i love making out, but cant someone treat me with respect??
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