dude do u know what u did last night?
do i wanna know???
you totally walked in on some couple fuckin in their unlocked dorm room asking for directions to ur room...
I just noticed that when I sneeze...my nipples get hard.
I'm not a pervert.. I just like to be naked...
I'm looking at pot farms on google earth. Google should be proud I found a real purpose for it to serve.
whenever he goes down on me he looks at me and I just want to poke him in the eyes
1 I really miss college walks of shame 2 I think I may have killed this girls cat
Just high watching the holiday fireplace channel. My space heater lends authenticity to the fire experience. Come over.
Mr. Clingalot just ran from our apartment. What the hell?
I started to cry afterward and mumble random things. Examples: "God, please don't make me be so gay anymore" and "my mom is going to be so proud of me for fucking a dude this time." It was that or let him stay the night and cuddle. I mean, fuck that horrible shit I'm a girl that needs her space.
crossed #23 off the Slucket List!
YOU JUST MADE YOUR SLUCKET LIST THIS MORNING.
I almost bumped into a man wrapped only in a blanket at 10 am
I don't know what song to play at my bong's funeral!
I need to just embrace dildos and cats and call it a life.
I think I just got suckerpunched by a 14-year-old.
I hate that I will forever be known as the girl who puked on the front lawn. That only happened once.
I woke up in the bathroom clutching a stuffed shark. My night was fantastic, thanks for asking.
Randomize
