i'm so high i feel like the people i'm chatting with online can some how see that i'm naked.
I like complaining with weaving words and complex sentences. It makes me seem more sophisticated and less bitchy.
All I know is for some reason I was sitting naked in the hallway playing an invisible ukulele singing somewhere over the rainbow. I wonder why security came.
Use motel 8. I'll give you my credit card #. i'll pay for it cuz i care about your vagina.
Just found a partially digested mushroom under my bed. Thanks for that.
Just rented the SCUBA equipment. Meet me at the pool to test the underwater beer bong idea.
IF SOMEONE ASKS YOU IF YOU WANT THE GOOD DRUGS YOU SAY YES.
I don't know what was up he just kept sitting in his chair smoking weed and watching home movies all night it was weird as fuck.
Dude, you flipped off a cat from my balcony and yelled at it to get a house
Fuck I am so excited for the first time I can make someone call me Doctor Nikki during sex after I finish my PhD
Woke up backwards on a recliner
My Midnight Kiss was a Big Mac.. Happy New Year
I don't want anything calamari shaped after last night. But I appreciate the Cheerios offer.
Like I said, all hypothetical...unless, of course, you'd be into that. My heart may skip a beat.
I hate being the first one to text him all the time...I feel like Iook desperate to get laid when the reality is that im just really horny and he has a/c...
Randomize