we'll hang out once this whole, "your friends are robbers and drug addicts" thing blows over with my parents.
I just googled the nutrition facts for a mcgriddle and yet I still want to go to mcdonalds
Well.. considering he unknowingly dated a prostitute, I consider myself the winner in that break up.
i'm out of college. that means no more sex on a twin bed. ever. i don't care how big his dick was. i'm classy like that.
ROOF CAVED IN, WE'RE GUNNA MAKE A WATERSLIDE
It's just like riding a bike. Only it's a dude's face.
I am the sex elephant in the room. Again.
dude, my hangover is telling me there was tequila involved
well my grandpa saw your dick pic, so why don't you tell me how my day is going
Whoever decided to put a Denny's that close to the strip club is a genius.
I got a hand job after work. Remember those? From the 90s...
I'm determined to sit on that face.
I woke up with a chicken in my yard
Do you not remember hopping the fence into a chicken coop and screaming "choot em'"like you were on swamp people?
No recollection, can you come help me shut this thing up
i solemnly vow to never stick my penis into crazy again
I give it a week.
Well... Chad blew off half of his hand last night. We were able to find most of it.
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